Putting the Fun on Hold

Rewind to September 15th, pre-riding the Valmont CX course. The day my season ended. I have no idea how I crashed on a small roller that a novice probably could have ridden a road bike on. I knew the second I fell that my season was done and was confident my collarbone was broken. When Doug finally saw I was on the ground he rushed back to me and I quickly proceeded to take a little shock induced nap. I tried to convince him we should just go home and see if I would get better all the while knowing I needed to go to the ER because I could not move my arm. I sat on a bench with 3 small children looking at me with great concern while Doug drove home to get the car. When we got to the ER I refused pain meds until they were going to move my arm a little for Xrays, then I was all over those pills. So, here's the damage:

Why did this happen to me? Why at the peak of my season one week before Nationals and 6 weeks before Worlds? I was having one of my best late season performances since I started racing Xterra. I was confident I could not only again be the top American at Worlds but I knew I could climb up on the box at Nationals and Worlds. I spent time being depressed and angry at the situation. All those 5:15 am wakeup calls to train and the effort it takes to balance it all taken away from me in an instant.  I've cried about not being able to run and ride in the gorgeous Fall colors, laughed that I had to ask my husband to shave my good armpit and tried to take away something positive. All my training is much more than training, it is my fun, my therapy, my heart disease prevention, and racing comes secondary, it is all worth it even if I can't race the rest of year.

The 2 biggest lessons I've learned are to 1) slow down and 2) ask for help. I spend my days rushing around trying to be the best at all I do, yes even perfectionistic at times. I'm learning to slow down, I have no choice really. Life goes on even if there are piles of laundry and the house is dirtier than I like. It took an injury for me to learn to accept that I don't have to do it all. The second lesson is asking for help. I've always been independent and strong willed, never asking for much help. Out of necessity I've had to ask for help in many ways and feel blessed how many wonderful people I have in my life that graciously go out of their way to lend a hand. A huge thanks to Doug! I knew I married a kind man but oh my, this has shown me just how big his heart is. The first 4 days were miserable for me and he was there at 3am getting me out of bed, making sure I took pain killers, putting my hair in a ponytail and feeding me whatever I requested. I really put that in sickness and health thing to the test right from the start.

Since everything was already booked we decided to still travel to Maui and have a real vacation for once. It may be hard to watch the race but I think there will be some satisfaction in heckling all my fellow competitors and friends with a mai tai in hand while they suffer in the hot, hot sun. I will for once come back from Hawaii with normal tan lines not a number sunburned on my arm and other horrible lines from my racing suit. And this sling just might get us upgraded on the plane.  I can't wait to enjoy this view from our condo:

I'll be back but for now I can be found with the old people at the gym killing it on the recumbent bike or supporting Doug at his cross races. Thanks to all my sponsors who have been very understanding and kind during this unexpected end of my season!

2nd place - Xterra Mountain Championships

The Xterra Mountain Championships in Beaver Creek, CO is one of my favorite events of the year because it is as close to "in my backyard" as it gets, my parents come to cheer me on and the excessive amount of climbing suits me well. This was the first year that the race hasn't conflicted with mountain bike Nationals so Doug got to watch me race my heart out and crossed the line in 2nd place. After spending all morning at work standing in a court room Doug and I headed up to Beaver Creek in the afternoon. I got a quick ride in on the top part of the course and was lucky to have Specialized super mechanic Joe Devera present to fix my sticky brake. Thanks Joe!

After my usual poor night of sleep before a race I woke up to a calm, cool, beautiful day, perfect for racing! The swim starts in Avon with two laps in Nottingham Lake. It is always nice when pros get our own start as it is easier to keep competitors in sight and I get hit and punched a little less. No matter how early I arrive on race morning I always seem to only get a very brief swim warm up in. I managed less than 5 minutes of swimming before we were called back and lined up. After the crazy loud cannon went off I managed to hang on to a group and kept two pink caps within my sight the entire swim. I came out of the water in 3rd behind Suzy and Mel. I kept both in my sights as we started the bike and was slowly making up the minute or so that they put into me on the swim. I could also see Danelle gaining on me from behind. As we hit the first feed zone and started up a paved climb Danelle caught me and I was not going to let her go. I hung with Danelle and we managed to pass Suzy and were quickly reeling Mel in. As soon as we hit the first descent Mel flatted and was forced to spend time dealing with this. I was hoping to pass Mel while we were both moving forward and was bummed to see her misfortune.

Photo: Trey Garman

Photo: Trey Garman

For the rest of the bike Danelle and I played a game of cat and mouse. She'd take the lead, I'd bring her back. I'd take the lead then she'd catch back up. It was so much fun to have this kind of race with Danelle. I really admire the "racing moms" and was honored that I was able to hang with such a tough competitor. On the very last little climb before the final descent into transition Danelle pulled ahead and put a small gap on me. I knew I was going to have to pull off the run of my life to regain the lead. Coming out of transition I could see Danelle just ahead of me. I continued to keep her in my sight for about the first mile, then she was gone. I always tell myself "it's not over until the fat lady sings" and at Xterra there is rarely a fat lady to sing so I kept pushing forward. However, Danelle had an exceptional run and the fat lady, who I never saw, must have been singing somewhere because I never could catch Danelle. I was thrilled to cross the line in 2nd and I think some were surprised to see me there since my year got off to a slow start. The top 5 were Danelle 1st, me 2nd, Suzy 3rd, Renata 4th and Mel in 5th despite her flat debacle. Good racing ladies! A huge thanks to all my sponsors for support and encouragement this year, Specialized, Avia, Xterra Wetsuits, Honey Stinger, Infinit, NoTubes and Native.

Photo: Trey Garman

Next up a wedding and some fun local races before gearing up for Nationals and Worlds!

Confidence Boost

A little late on my recap of the 2^nd Winter Park XC race of the season but I guess that’s what happens when you work almost 50 hours a week coupled with planning a wedding, training and trying to maintain some semblance of a normal social life. So, back to June 30th for the 18 mile XC loop up in Winter Park. In Colorado it is commonplace for some of the best athletes in the country and world to show up at smaller local events. I truly believe the level of competition turns local races into “mini-Olympics” on a regular basis and has made me a stronger competitor as a result. I rolled up to the start line to see Olympic long team member Chloe Woodruff there among many other fast Colorado girls and thought to myself, “well guess we’ll be racing for second place”. The start is a little over a mile straight up a fire road until we hit the singletrack. I hung about 40 feet behind Chole on the road and was ahead of the rest of the field entering the singletrack. For about the next mile I had in my head that Chole was increasing her gap on me and I needed to focus on keeping my second place spot. On a straight section of the trail I could see Chole and had an internal conversation about how negative my attitude was at the start. I quicky shifted my attitude, telling myself that I could catch up to her. I put in a hard effort and did manage to catch her and felt strong when I caught up to her. Right before the first stream crossing I went for it and took over the lead. We had some bumbling in the creek crossing where Chloe fell into me and we both ended up off our bikes, feet soaking wet. It always amazes me how friendly fiercely competitive women can be. We checked in with one another, apologized, smiled and carried on. I now had some serious fire under me and my mantra for the rest of the race, about 12 miles, was “ride with confidence”. The second I would find my pace slowing I would repeat, “ride with confidence”. Some of the descents on the course were rocky and rough on my hardtail but my mantra kept me flying and riding the downhills with more speed than I ever have. I crossed the finish line in first by over a minute. More important than taking the win was experiencing the confidence that came from embracing my current fitness and fully utilizing my mental skills. My season always gets off to a slow start and it gets exciting when my fitness starts to shine this time of year.

Next up is the Xterra Mountain Championships on Saturday in Beaver Creek…I have a good feeling about this!  

2 weekends 3 wins

The last two weekends have been successful on the racing front and my fitness is starting to shine a bit more. June 16th I planned to race the Ute Valley Pro XC in Colorado Springs to test myself against some of the best mountain bikers in the country (ok, so the test would have been more to hang on for dear life and try not to get lapped). I was so consumed with a terrible, horrible no good week at work that I didn't remember to register in time and there was not day of registration for the pro race...woops! Luckily the Winter Park hillclimb was the same day so I headed up for a 5.3 mile torture session. I started out hard in hopes that I would break up the field quickly. I didn't have a plan other than to take the lead and see how long I could maintain it. I was surprised at how good I felt and was able to not only maintain my lead but extend it all the way to the top, passing many men in the process. I finished in 39:23, almost 3 minutes faster than my time form last year and almost 4 minutes ahead of the next woman. I was super excited about my time and the strength I felt during the entire race! I joked  afterwards that having a terrible week at work and getting in an argument with your spouse the evening prior to a race is key to going fast OR maybe I'm just starting to reap the benefits of my focused hill training.

In Boulder we are spoiled with many races even on weeknights. Wednesday I suffered my way to a 3rd place in the local short track. Thursday evening I took the win for the women at the local Stroke and Stride for win #2 of the last two weeks.

Photo: Jim Heuck

Photo: Jim Heuck

Win #3 came Sunday at Xterra Gowdy. Curt Gowdy State Park in Wyoming is a hidden gem in an unattractive and barren part of Wyoming between Cheyenne and Laramie. I raced the Gowdy Grinder in 2011 and when I heard that there was going to be an Xterra there I was thrilled. The trails are no joke with some really technical sections, some fast flowy sections and everything in between. I got the pleasure of camping Saturday night with good friends Travis and Amy along with their entertaining 18 month old Wyatt. I chose not to hassle with a tent and made the back of the wagon my bed for the night. It was surprisingly comfortable but I still failed to sleep much. The race consisted of a 1200 meter swim, 14.2 mile bike and 5.3 mile run. The water was surprisingly cold, maybe low 60s. Knowing it was going to be over 100 outside by the time we finished made me happily soak in the cold and accept the shivering on the start line. I had a solid swim and think I finally figured out how to prevent my goggles from fogging. I was the first woman out of the water and onto the bike. I focused on riding conservatively so I wouldn't melt in the heat on the run. The bike was indeed not for first timers or people new to mountain biking. Rock drops, rock features, loose granite, tight turns and switchbacks made this course what I believe to be one of the more technical and true mountain bike courses on the Xterra circuit.  A few years ago this course would have freaked me out but Sunday my Specialized Fate and I rode cleanly except for getting my bars stuck between some tight rock sections and dismounting when guys in front of me were suddenly off their bikes and reluctant to let me by on the singletrack. The entire race with the exception of the first 3/4 mile was on amazing singletrack. With about 4 miles left on the bike I could see Maia Ignatz and Kim Baugh behind me and realized I would need to step it up a bit to maintain my position. I came off the bike still in 1st and didn't melt on the run, which was mostly exposed to the intense sun and featured somewhat technical trail running requiring significant focus. Thanks to Without Limits for putting on a great new event! If you ever want to do a low-key Xterra with real mountain biking, this is THE event! Now, I don't care where you are please do a rain dance for Colorado. It is scary dry and fires are burning all over. My heart goes out to all those who are affected by these devastating fires and to the firefighters trying to battle these monsters.

My Teva Games Tale

The Teva Games is probably one of my favorite events of the year with a multitude of outdoor events, races and entertainment. In addition, the weekend attracts top notch athletes in every event. This year I did the Ultimate Mountain Challenge consisting of kayaking, mountain biking, trail running and an uphill road bike time trial all within about 30 hours. I went into the weekend knowing the women I was racing against, Sari Anderson and Gretchen Reeves are World Class athletes and it would be a hard weekend.

I also went into the weekend taking some icky drugs, something I'm not a fan of. In early May I had an unfortunate encounter with poison ivy. After three weeks of itching and seeing new spots of very attractive rashes appear all over I broke down and went to the doctor the week leading up to Teva. I learned I had systemic poison ivy and was given some meds to clear it up. Despite feeling odd from these lovely pills I was still excited to test myself mentally and physically.

Kayak

We headed up to Vail on Friday so I could learn to kayak before the race on Saturday. Yep, you read that correctly, I had never been in whitewater, unless you count tubing in Boulder Creek. This was the perfect year for me to make my first attempt at kayaking because the water levels were very low. A huge thanks to Travis Macy who gave me a quick 10 minute lesson in the pond before I plunked my rented sit-top kayak into Gore Creek for my first ever whitewater kayaking experience. I made it down the 3 mile stretch of river and while I’m sure I was easily identified as a novice I loved it, even when I flipped off my kayak once. Overcoming a fear of doing something always leaves a smile on my face. Saturday morning I had no expectations for my time in the kayak portion. My mission was “be safe and don’t flip”. I achieved the first part of my mission but not the second. I flipped out in almost the same place I did during my practice run but again made it to the finish with a smile on my face. 

Rookie

Mountain Bike

About 2 hours after I finished the kayak it was time to mountain bike. For the first time ever the UMC athletes got our own start 2 minutes behind the Pro Women. The kayak didn’t make me cold but drained me in a way that I had never experienced. The combination of using different muscles and the excessive adrenaline that was pumping through my system before the kayak left me feeling flat. This was evident from the start when I simply could not hang with Gretchen and Sari. Turns out they were indeed flying and would have placed 5^th and 6^th in the pro race, which was a stacked field with the likes of Georgia Gould and Heather Irmiger. I simply focused on trying to be steady and catch some pro women (which I did) and not crash with my noodle arms.

The 7.5 mile 10K

Sunday I was faced with a run and uphill time trial. I was excited for the run even though it is without question on of the hardest 10K races out there. If you don't believe me I challenge you to do it. I figured I could bring back some time I lost in the kayak and mountain bike on Saturday. This year it turned out to be 7.5 miles which was about 3 miles too long for me on the day. I started out strong and had the goal of keeping the top 3 women in my sight. Until just after mile 3 I was able to see the top 3 women and was within striking distance of 3^rd place. My body decided that was enough and essentially turned off. It was not fun to have to walk a bit but I am proud that I kept pressing forward and ended up still finishing 8^th overall.

Time Trial

After grabbing some food and sitting down just long enough for my body to try to shut off I had to saddle up and psych up to race 10 miles up Vail Pass.  Since I don’t own a road bike my Specialized Crux cross bike with super light NoTubes wheels was my weapon of choice…no aero bars, no aero helmet, just me and my bike.  I finished the time trial with the 16^th fastest time among all women and  2^nd among the UMC women.

A little press time with Sari

I ended up finishing 3^rd in the Ultimate Mountain Challenge behind two humble supportive competitors. To say I was tired would be an understatement and to top off my draining weekend I woke up Monday morning with a cold that has been hanging on for the last 10 days. A little cold won’t scare me off from coming back to the Ultimate Mountain Challenge in the future.

Telling Larry "I don't know where they are" in regards to Sari and Gretchen. They showed up a bit later after we left. Next time we'll get all of us on the podium at once.

ITU Cross World Championships

 A much overdue report about ITU Cross Worlds held on May 19^th in hot humid Pelham, Alabama. After the Xterra West Championships I opted to swim more, 3 times a week, in hopes that my chicken arms would gain some strength and propel me to a solid swim in Alabama.  I am very much a morning person and really didn’t know what to do with myself on race morning since we didn’t start until 1pm.  The luxury of being able to read the paper and savor my coffee was a nice treat.

Swim

My goal was to have a good swim so I would be in a good position on the mostly singletrack, tight windy bike course. I focused on going out hard and not settling into a pace (ie; slowing down) as early as I usually do.  I ended up exiting the water in 6^th place with Emma at my side. I was very pleased that my chicken arms got the job done and was excited to get on the bike.

Bike

Let me start by saying if you are told by a physical therapist that you will need to do certain exercises for the rest of your life to avoid injury, listen to said physical therapist, they know what they are talking about.  The bike course was 3 laps of a 6 mile twisty, tight singletrack that was thankfully mostly under the shade of lush vegetation. I got on the bike and was riding strong behind Emma for about ½ a lap. My back was tight from the start but after ½ a lap the spasms started. The thought of safety crossed my mind a few times as it was hard to keep myself from flailing off my bike around every turn. I kept telling myself, just get to the run and all will be well and “why don’t you make time to do your back exercises, look what’s happened now”. I got passed and passed and passed by woman and came off the bike in 13^th, which was not in my “plan”.

Run

What relief it was to get off my bike and start running. My back screamed “thank you” as soon as I got off my bike. The run was two 5K laps with small rolling hills and again mostly in the shade. I think that my custom Infinit blend kept me strong and fought off any dehydration as I entered the run wishing we were allowed  a small amount of time for bathroom breaks. I passed one woman on the run and ended up 12^th at the line.  The field of women was spectacular…a deep field of fast, fit and fun ladies that I love seeing at races. Congratulations to winner Lesley Patterson, she is on fire this year!

 In the last two weeks I have been diligent about doing my physical therapy and have already noticed fewer back issues. I also made some adjustments to my position on my Specialized Fate and this seems to have helped too. I’m looking forward to a solid month and a half of training and lots of mountain bike racing to get ready for Xterra Mountain Championships. Next up is the Teva Mountain Games Ultimate Mountain Challenge. Nothing like a kayak, mountain bike, trail run and uphill road bike time trial all in a little more than 24 hours to really take your fitness up a notch.  

It can only get better from here - Xterra West Championships

My 48 hour trip to Vegas for the Xterra West Championships, was quick, cold and slow. I was planning on sharing a room with Melanie but she let me know Wednesday night that she was sick with some type of plague. Having already spent a month this Winter being sick with a mysterious, never ending cough I opted for my own room to avoid her Canadian germs. Traveling to races has become vacation and an almost spa like experience for me. I am HORRIBLE at relaxing and always find new projects or things that “need” to be done around my house when I have any free time. A hotel is ideal for me because I can’t do anything but read or watch some kind of garbage on TV.

Ok, back to the race. Clearly, I am avoiding talking about my race a bit since it was less than stellar. I didn’t even check the results until Wednesday and kept asking Doug not to tell me how I did. I have been beating myself up about my performance because like any driven athlete I always want to do better and go faster until I’m on the big step wearing gold. However, I have to remind myself to be patient because I am never fast in the early season, which leaves me fast and free from burnout come Worlds in October. This year is no exception and I have my hands in more baskets than ever before. I’m working harder than ever to strike a balance between the passion I have for my career and my athletic endeavors. I’m torn with which direction I need to go and the feeling of not always being able to give 100% to everything doesn’t always sit well with me.    

Ok, really, onto the race.  The swim was COLD, water in the upper 50s, air in the upper 40s. I jumped in the water and got in about 15 strokes before the race started. How wonderful…I didn’t swim all week due to some nasty road rash from a crash the previous weekend and I just got in 15 strokes, great! I survived the swim but barely. Upon exiting I had serious vertigo and was frozen. In T1, I struggled to get my wetsuit off and to put on arm warmers and a vest. It was quite possibly the slowest transition of my life but I finally got out on the bike and was not shivering. Two years ago at this race I broke my hand on the first lap of the bike and have had some underlying anxiety about returning to this course. By using Brainspotting techniques and mindfulness based skills I felt I was pretty successful in eliminating the extent to which my anxiety and fear would affect my performance. I rode clean and didn’t have to get off my bike at all but clearly lacked any type of top end fitness on the bike.  As much as I tried to push myself I was unable to catch any of the women that I would normally have no problems hanging with on the bike. I did pass 4 girls and moved into 7^th place when I got into T2. Over the Winter I was running strong as evidenced by winning Snowshoe Nationals. Since then I have let my running slide a bit, which showed in my grandma paced run split. I was passed by two women on the run and mentally was checked out. I never like to admit that I get mentally defeated but, yes, I am human and it happens.

After the race I packed up my bike, watched the awards, took a quick shower, got a milkshake and was on a plane home. I had grand plans of planting our garden and working on the chicken coop on Sunday but the weather gods forced me to stay inside and get this, attempt to relax in my own home.  I’m looking forward to some more focused training before ITU Cross Worlds in Alabama on May 19^th. It can only get better from here!