Saturday, April 21, 2012

It can only get better from here - Xterra West Championships


My 48 hour trip to Vegas for the Xterra West Championships, was quick, cold and slow. I was planning on sharing a room with Melanie but she let me know Wednesday night that she was sick with some type of plague. Having already spent a month this Winter being sick with a mysterious, never ending cough I opted for my own room to avoid her Canadian germs. Traveling to races has become vacation and an almost spa like experience for me. I am HORRIBLE at relaxing and always find new projects or things that “need” to be done around my house when I have any free time. A hotel is ideal for me because I can’t do anything but read or watch some kind of garbage on TV.

Ok, back to the race. Clearly, I am avoiding talking about my race a bit since it was less than stellar. I didn’t even check the results until Wednesday and kept asking Doug not to tell me how I did. I have been beating myself up about my performance because like any driven athlete I always want to do better and go faster until I’m on the big step wearing gold. However, I have to remind myself to be patient because I am never fast in the early season, which leaves me fast and free from burnout come Worlds in October. This year is no exception and I have my hands in more baskets than ever before. I’m working harder than ever to strike a balance between the passion I have for my career and my athletic endeavors. I’m torn with which direction I need to go and the feeling of not always being able to give 100% to everything doesn’t always sit well with me.    

Ok, really, onto the race.  The swim was COLD, water in the upper 50s, air in the upper 40s. I jumped in the water and got in about 15 strokes before the race started. How wonderful…I didn’t swim all week due to some nasty road rash from a crash the previous weekend and I just got in 15 strokes, great! I survived the swim but barely. Upon exiting I had serious vertigo and was frozen. In T1, I struggled to get my wetsuit off and to put on arm warmers and a vest. It was quite possibly the slowest transition of my life but I finally got out on the bike and was not shivering. Two years ago at this race I broke my hand on the first lap of the bike and have had some underlying anxiety about returning to this course. By using Brainspotting techniques and mindfulness based skills I felt I was pretty successful in eliminating the extent to which my anxiety and fear would affect my performance. I rode clean and didn’t have to get off my bike at all but clearly lacked any type of top end fitness on the bike.  As much as I tried to push myself I was unable to catch any of the women that I would normally have no problems hanging with on the bike. I did pass 4 girls and moved into 7th place when I got into T2. Over the Winter I was running strong as evidenced by winning Snowshoe Nationals. Since then I have let my running slide a bit, which showed in my grandma paced run split. I was passed by two women on the run and mentally was checked out. I never like to admit that I get mentally defeated but, yes, I am human and it happens.

After the race I packed up my bike, watched the awards, took a quick shower, got a milkshake and was on a plane home. I had grand plans of planting our garden and working on the chicken coop on Sunday but the weather gods forced me to stay inside and get this, attempt to relax in my own home.  I’m looking forward to some more focused training before ITU Cross Worlds in Alabama on May 19th. It can only get better from here! 

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