Be kind to yourself

My good friend and teammate Becky posted this on our Melrad team blog http://melrad.com/2010/03/24/meet-my-friends/ and I was left speechless, ok a tear might have even rolled out of my eye. I am known to be pretty hard on myself, perhaps perfectionistic is the correct word. Since becoming unemployed I've struggled to find balance and shift the priorities in my life. It took a friend of mine to shake me from my fog with her amazing words and remind me that I need to be patient and kind to myself. There will be plenty of time in the future for me to have hectic weeks and there is no limit to the things I can do in my career. But for now I need to slow down, have an extra cup of coffee and be kind to myself everyday.

Biathlon

Doug tried his hand at biathlon in Snow Mountain Ranch last weekend and now I've got this "I'd like to try this" bug. I got out for a great 2 hour skate ski while Doug was helping score the first wave and waiting for his wave to start. Doug shot better than most people, no surprise there, and for his first season on skate skis he did awesome! The Colorado Biathlon Club is possibly the most friendly organization I've come across lately. Everyone was cheering for Doug even though they never met him and somehow I must look like I should be racing because I was asked about a dozen times, "why didn't you race today"? This summer there is a mountain bike and trail run biathlon that I might have to jump into. I'm hoping they can put some beer cans up really close to me for my targets since that seems to be what I am capable of hitting. I think we are done skiing for the year and need to get a little more focused on long weekend rides now that Spring is almost here. Probably won't happen this weekend though since it is supposed to snow up to 12" tomorrow...Spring in the Rockies always keeps you guessing about what the day will bring.

Crossroads

I thought about posting this last week and refrained. As the month comes to a close and my decision has been made, I'm ready to share.

It's no secret the US economy is in horrible shape and if you work in a government agency you've probably felt the impact of huge deficits in one way or another. I'm at a crossroads with my job right now. For the last 3 months my agency has started the process of forcing major structural changes in an effort to better meet the needs of the families we serve. Hours are changing, well functioning coherent teams are being uprooted and shifted around. I've been anxious and angry for 3 months...what will my job be, when will I work, who will my supervisor be, why are they fixing something that isn't broken, is this really going to help better serve our clients?

Three weeks ago it was announced that 25 employees would be laid off. Our workloads and the nature of our work is such that the loss of 25 employees coupled with monumental structural changes has me (and many other people) scared. Then a week ago we were told that employees can accept a voluntary layoff. What ensued was a week of sleepless nights and contemplation about one of the toughest decisions I've made in my 29 years.


When very knowledgeable people that you trust in your agency say, "if I could I would" and "I don't blame you and I support you" it speaks to the negative climate. So, here I am with 4 more days of work and then...

No, I won't abandon the field of social work but I will study for and take the licenced clinical social worker exam, take the Colorado school social worker exam and continue to explore the few job possibilities that are out there right now. Oh, and I might have a bit more time to train and finish some home projects. I think I might be able to sleep tonight!

Offseason Happenings

Just in case anyone cares...I'm still alive and have not completely abandoned my blog. The last few months have gone by too quickly. It's time to start focusing on training again and I'm getting excited for the upcoming season. One thing I may do a bit more seriously than my competitors it really embrace my offseason...I'm an expert at it really. I took several weeks of no training, ok maybe more like 3.5 weeks afters Worlds and then about a month of simple "exercise" with no agenda. January marked the start of my "start to train" and now it's "let's get a little more serious mode". Most exciting news is that I was asked to be part of Mels rad racing for the upcoming season. I'm really looking forward to being on this team with awesome sponsors and great teammates. Thanks Mel for giving me this opportunity!

Doug and I have been doing lots of home improvement projects this winter. We insulated the attic and crawlspace to. We have ripped down some wood paneling, painted some walls and are getting ready to tackle a kitchen update. It is a slow process but rewarding to be doing it all ourselves. I had one construction injury...smashing my foot with a hammer while trying to get a nail out of the baseboard. No broken bones, just tissue damages that took a good week to heal. I wish I could say we've had some awesome skiing but there has been a serious lack of snow at the resorts we ski...oh well, more time to work on the house.

Here are a few pictures from the last few monts. We spent Christmas in Bradford, PA for the second year in a row with Doug's family. Yes, I'm in love with a redneck and he loves when I shoot beer cans! If Doug could learn to skate ski fast we would for sure be headed to the next Olympics for biathlon...

My man and his dad shooting

Me shooting some beer cans at the gun club

My new ride...watch out Mel!

Getting ready to insulate the crawlspace with toxic spray foam

Holiday Happenings

Here is a pile of presents, none of them were for us and I couldn't have been happier about it! Instead of doing gifts this year my family adopted a family through the Family to Family Program run by Boulder County. Nobody in my family 'needs' anything...we have our health, the ability to eat 3 meals a day, a roof over our heads and great friends. While I 'want' an oven that works when on Broil I have everything I need and feel such satisfaction knowing that a family will be smiling on Friday when they open their gifts that they otherwise would not have been able to afford.

Last weekend we visited the railroad museum in Golden for some family fun with lil Sam. This picture about sums about Sam's fascination with trains.

Sam is not too sure about the bearded fellow

This morning we had Tarkington Christmas since Doug and I head to Bradford on Wednesday, Jon, Beth and Sam to Houston on Tuesday and my parents to sunny San Diego tomorrow. We ate our traditional candy cane bread with eggs and watched Sam be overwhelmed by the many presents he was spoiled with. Jon and I really like Sam's fancy tricycle. If this were 25 years ago he would have surely crashed me into something intentionally and then tried to get me in trouble for it.

Hawaii fun Pictures

Hmmm, I just realized that I started this post a long time ago and never put it up. Work has been crazy and today is one of the first days I can "waste a little time" (aka blogging).


Here are some non-race related pictures from Hawaii. We took two long drives to check out the beaches and scenary. The first one took us all around the north side of the island. All the guide books say "driving not recomended past this point". we ended up driving on a one lane road about as wide as a golf cart path in places. It was very driveable just sketchy if you encountered a car coming towards you. Clearly lots of tourists enjoy this golf cart path as there were several vendors along the way the would jump out in front of your car to peddle their fruit. Our second drive took us on the famous road to Hana...windy, narrow, rainforests, beaches. It was a beautiful drive but we didn't really want to come back the way we came and once again did what the tourist guides said not to do and went on the "do not drive this road". I'm not sure what all the hype was about, it was dirt in places and not well maintained but it was quite driveable and few people were on it. Check it out if you ever make it to Hana!

"Sara your big head keeps getting in the way of the sun"

Huge bamboo forest

Don't feed the seals while naked

Close to Hana

View from the golf cart path

2009 Xterra Worlds Race Report

Swim

I'll sum this up in one word, brutal. I was punched in the eye, hit in the arms countless number of times and full on kicked in my left quad leaving me with a 'charlie horse' for the rest of the race. All the rumbling was with men in the swim, those yellow caps were surrounding me and mean. They would not start the race until everyone was out of the water so I sat shivering for 10 minutes on shore. Usually they say to get out of the water, nobody does and they start the race anyways. They had people walking in the surf with kayak paddles prodding people back to shore. I had a decent swim but not as fast as I would have liked. I came out of the water in 8th with several girls not too far behind me.

Bike

I felt strong on the bike but wasn't climbing like I know I am capable of. Men kept fumbling on the short climbs in front of me, falling off and forcing me to hike-a-bike more than I needed to. I also think I was worried that going to hard on the bike would lead to "blowup" like it did for me at Nationals. I focused on drinking lots and pushing "just hard enough". The bike is not very technical but bad things happen to people out there. It is easy to get out of control and not be able to stop since you are basically surfing on top of loose, sharp lava rocks. There are always people fixing flats along the entire course. Luckily, my personal mechanic (aka Doug) had my bike working flawlessly except for a slight chain mishap that only took me about 6 seconds to fix. I came off the bike in 8th after several position changes on the bike.

Run
I felt strong going into the run and was well hydrated. I was able to push up the hills better than last year. Doug yelled at me that there were four girls in front of me within 2 minutes. Marion passed me a few miles into the run. I could see Marion and Danelle in front of me most of the run, especially on the mile long beach stretch, but was never able to catch them. I ended up 9th in 3:15:57, almost 4 minutes faster than last year. Top five were Julie Dibens, Lesley Patterson, Mel McQuaid, Carina Wasle and Shonny V. Congrats to all you speedy women!

It's amazing how the women's field seems to get faster and faster every year. I felt I had in in me to be in the top 5, but I simply didn't have my best race. I have nothing to complain about though, I was almost 4 minutes faster, had no major catastrophes and am able to race at a professional level while maintaining full time career. I'm ready for a break...a chance to sleep in, experiment in the world of gluten free baking, finish some knitting projects that have been gathering dust since last Spring, and cross off many projects on our house 'to do list'.

Thanks to my parents and Doug for being the best fans and support at the race! Thanks to Wheat Ridge Cyclery for my Yeti, Powerbar for gels with lots of electrolytes, Perlizumi for some great training and racing gear, Xterra wetsuits for my 'sausage suit' (fastskin), Powercordz for some cables that help make my bike super light! I'm looking forward to next year and plan to come back with some serious 'fire in my belly'. I'm also excited to be part of a great team next year...I'll let you keep guessing about that one...